My Lost Angel

A budding cell growing from within
me; A heartbeat, a glance,
a wish, a hope, a miracle,
a life!

Within my womb my angel's
protected; Unknowing,
perfection, loving, abundant,
grateful.

Wonderment of life a bewildered
mother to be; Joyous, fearful
smiling, crying, laughing,
intrigued!

Precious soul bestowed to health
and growth; Unique, Gifted
humbled, A grace within
me!

A moment of disbelief this joy
was ended; so little,
so innocent, so tragic, so
sad.

A mother's turmoil of miscarriage
a burden within her soul; anger,
sadness, resentment, frustration,
despair.

Grateful I am for the moment
in my journey to have had
such a special
soul.

I grieved my lost angel and have
comfort in knowing; with time
the wounds will
pass.

I send you love my lost angel
in hopes you find serenity within
spirit and join the oneness
once more!

December 2, 2007

Circumstances keep 'em apart
Stirring feelings from the heart

Binded through an eternal soul
Bleeds grief beyond control

Tortured mind bewilders all
Wondered expressions make the call

Magnetic being draws them in
It's up to fate to let it begin

Soaring through life's big journey
Corrupted with pain and agony

Seeking truth beyond the surface
Unruly acts that are quite selfless

Quiet longing from a distance
Bringing hopeful twists in reminiscence

Images flooding a budding core
Fearing things that are in store

Burning desires locked away
Knowing not to this day

Wanting to know if there is a chance
Afraid to look within this glance

Surges of insight within the mind
Powerful emotions make 'em blind

Intellectual stimulation entrances the spirit
Unwilling to live without it

Pursuit of knowledge for stability
Follows them throughout infinity

Matches made with strength and grace
Something loneliness just can't replace

June 15 1999

taking all that we've got

Forced smiles on their face
they live in all disgrace
mocking words turn to fear
they knew not what they'd hear
pain seen in one's eye
the truth they can't deny
whispers meant to be heard
they don't say just one word
seeking peace at one's side
they can not so they hide
lives turned upside down
they will always frown
wanting to heal the inner self
pushed aside on a shelf
only if their hearts would see
they would all be set free
blocking out all emotions
they have no devotions
forgiving souls they have not
taking all that we've got

*1997*

Set Aside

Feeling alone and set aside
Nowhere to go, no place to hide
Anger dominates my fear
Lonely and unwanted is what I hear
Smiles cover up my frown
Sadness kicks me when I'm down
Everything will be alright
Gotta stay and put up a fight
Shame something that is well known
Builds up and stays until it's shown
Tears filling in my eyes
My pain can't be measured in size
Heartbroken I run to forget
Nothing can ever make me upset
Lies I took and I now believe
Can't be set straight when I grieve
Feeling alone and set aside
Nowhere to go, no place to hide

*December 1996*

Couldn't Share

If I felt the way I did
I couldn't help it yet, I hid
Burning desires that were there
Couldn't show it, couldn't care
My fears they were very real
Couldn't share with him my ordeal
Getting close my nerves were gone
Couldn't know all I've seen since dawn
Commitment a forbidden word to this man
Couldn't stay with one faithful woman
My fears they were very real
Couldn't share with him my ordeal

*August 1996*

Unable to

Unable to sleep
I turn to weep
Past events.
Unable to cry
I turn and sigh
Past love.
Unable to grieve
I turn to leave
Past memories.
Unable to talk
I turn and walk
Past angers.
Unable to sleep,
Cry, grieve or talk
I turn to weep,
Sigh, leave and walk
Past events, loves,
Memories and angers.
I'm unable to deal
With all life's dangers.
I'm unable to...
Unable to...
Unable...

*July 1996*

Untitled

Walking by a dark, sombre road
Fearing all that is bestowed
Looking past all assumptions
Hurting for past deceptions
Thinking of feelings lost in grief
Carrying these thoughts with disbelief
Being nothing in ones eye
Passing chances going by
Torturing souls that get too near
Delighting urges that they should fear

*March 1996*

Forced

Forced upon this gentle parcel
All memories of this one hassle
Forced to stay and hear
All memories of that one year
Forced upon this innocent soul
All memories of lost control
Forced not to speak that night
All memories concealed in fright
Forced to keep eternal silence
All memories of awful violence
Forced silence to tease and taunt
All memories that come to haunt
Forced pain, sorrow and agony
All memories of uncaught felony

*January 1996*